The Recluse's Nightmare
by katmd
Summary: Severus Snape finds himself in a position to converse with Hermione Granger. Again. Fluffy, one shot, follow up to 'The Conversationalist's Dilemma.'


Disclaimer: The characters, settings, etc. of the Harry Potter series I are not mine. I just play with them.

For Severus Snape, dinner parties at Malfoy Manor had once been a thing of pleasure. In the time of Narcissa and Lucius, there had been elegance and opulence. There had been lovely meals with interesting dinner companions and, most importantly, ever-flowing, high quality alcohol.

In the time of Draco and Ginny Malfoy, however, dinner parties had almost become a thing of torture. Gone was the elegance of the past, replaced with drop cloths and brightly-colored plastic cutlery for the children. Gone were his interesting dinner companions. They had been replaced by Draco jr., who insisted on calling him 'Uncy Sev;' Lucius who, like his grandfather, rarely deigned to speak at these parties and chose to, instead, eat quietly while silently surveying his surroundings and company; and young Arthur Malfoy who could not, simply _could not_, ever pass an evening in Severus's company without climbing into his lap, grabbing onto his nose, and squealing, "got your conk!" in a tone frighteningly similar to the one Peeves used.

The meals were, thankfully, still quite excellent. The alcohol, however, had ceased to be served, which saddened Severus to no end. Ginny, it seemed, was almost always with child, and Draco simply refused to put alcohol on the table in her pregnant presence. Ginny was, in Severus's opinion, a very sensitive and caring girl, for she always apologized specifically to him for the lack of wine. "I am sorry that there's no cabernet this evening, Severus," she would always grumble in a lovely, sweet tone, "but Draco seems to think I cannot be trusted. Bastard."

Severus was always fond of Ginny when she was pregnant. The hormones tended to make rather Slytherin-like, or at least, as Slytherin-like as a Weasley could possibly be.

When Draco flooed Severus that cold Saturday morning in November inviting him to a dinner party, Severus was very reluctant to accept the invitation. That week had been particularly rough with three cauldrons melted, seven exploded, and one in-class injury that would keep young Mr. Meyers in the infirmary for the next two weeks. If there was anything Severus hated in life, it was marking make-up work.

"But Uncle Severus," Draco said for the third time in a very annoying and pleading tone. Severus hated it when Draco called him 'Uncle Severus' especially since the boy had just turned thirty-two that past year. Generally, Severus would do anything to make Draco stop saying it, and Draco, being both clever and a Malfoy, always used this to his advantage. "Uncle Severus, you simply must come tonight. I need someone on my side. Ron and Harry will be coming this evening, and you know I can only take so much of them."

Severus glared at the head in his fireplace. "And what, exactly, makes you think that I would willingly pass an evening in the company of Mr. and Mr. Potter-Weasley?"

"Loyalty to your family, of course, Uncle. You would do anything to save your darling cousins from an evening alone with Harry and Ron. Especially since you know such evenings often cause your favorite cousin Draco to revert to certain homicidal tendencies. Anyway, we have a baby announcement to make and you must be there for that."

Severus sighed. "What is it now? Ginny's having twins?"

"No," Draco shook his head, his eyes widening. "No, no. Just the one."

Severus sneered in response. "You'll have a horde of spawn to rival that of your in-laws soon if you keep at this the way you are."

"You're just jealous." Draco smiled.

Severus snorted in response. "What time is the party?"

"Seven," Draco replied. "So I expect we'll see you around half past?"

Severus shrugged in response. "You never know, my darling cousin. I might just surprise you and arrive early for once."

He apparated into the front hallway of Malfoy Manor at quarter past seven, and though while not exactly on time, Severus was happy that he had arrived a good fifteen minutes before Draco expected him. He made his way through the manor to the dining room where he knew they'd all be seated.

"Uncy Sev!" Draco jr. squealed as Severus strode into the dining room, announcing his presence. Severus watched as the youngest Malfoy son threw himself from his chair and waddled over to where Severus stood just inside the doorway. Throwing his arms around Severus's knees and squeezing tightly, the boy spoke again, "Mummy look! Uncy Sev!"

"Yes, yes, darling," Ginny said from her seat, looking very pregnant and disinterested at Severus's arrival. "Uncle Severus has come. Now why don't you come back to your seat like a good boy so that we all might wait quietly like big boys and girls for the other guests to arrive."

The boy released Severus's legs and waddled back to his chair. "Good evening," Severus said as he made his way over to his usual seat on Draco's right.

"You're early, you know," Draco said as Severus seated himself in his chair.

"Am I?" Severus asked, glancing around the table and seeing that the Potter-Weasleys had, in fact, not yet arrived. "Ah," said Severus, looking back to where Draco sat, "you lied about the time."

Draco smiled sweetly at his cousin. "How dare you suggest I would do such a thing?"

Ginny sighed from where she sat across from Severus and brushed her fringe out of her eyes. "So how have you been, Severus?"

Severus shrugged. "Tolerable. Slytherin is leading for the House Cup."

"Fantastic," Draco said. "Lucius and I have started his flying lessons, Uncle Severus. Isn't that right, Lucius?"

Lucius Malfoy, in a perfect mimic of his grandfather's most often used expression, curled his lip and said, "Yes."

"Why don't you tell Uncle Severus about flying, Lucius," Ginny prodded, as she took a sip of her water.

Lucius shrugged. "It's fun. Daddy says I'll be a good seeker like him and probably better than Uncle Harry. But Daddy says not to tell Uncle Harry that because Uncle Harry wouldn't want a Malfoy to be better than him," he said in a very bored tone.

"Well, that is very true, Lucius," Severus said as he too took a sip of his water. "Uncle Harry would dislike very much for a Malfoy to outdo him, especially in quidditch. I, however, am thrilled with the prospect."

Draco and Ginny chuckled at this, with Ginny sighing, "Oh Severus," softly.

A few seconds later, the head house elf of Malfoy Manor stepped into the dining room and cleared his throat to get their attention.

"Yes, Pinchy? Have the guests arrived?" Draco said, standing from his seat.

"Yes, Master, yes," Pinchy replied.

"Then do be a good elf and show them in," Draco replied, clasping his hands in front of him and waiting.

Severus watched the doorway and a few moments later, Harry and Ron Potter-Weasley strolled in, holding hands, and were followed in, Severus saw, by someone he had not seen for years.

"Uncle Harry! Uncle Ronnie!" Draco jr. squealed from his seat, but Severus was rather pleased that he did not run from his chair to throw his arms about _their_ knees.

"Harry, Ron," Draco began, grinning at his guests, "And Hermione, welcome. All of you. Please, please, have a seat." He gestured to the chairs around the table, and Severus watched as the Potter-Weasleys seated themselves so that the only available seat for Miss Granger was beside his own.

He watched as she made her way over to sit in the seat between him and Arthur who had been amazingly quiet this evening. He was not surprised to see that she was still beautiful. She was just as lovely as she had been when he had last seen her at Draco and Ginny's wedding, if not more so, as she seemed to have gained a little weight, giving her a softer and curvier figure that Severus found very much to his taste.

"Good evening, Professor," she said as she placed her napkin in her lap and as their soup appeared before them.

"Hello, Miss Granger," he replied. "How are you?"

"Fine thank you," she said as she smiled at him. "You look very well."

Severus raised a surprised eyebrow. "As do you."

She simply continued to smile and turned her attention to Ginny when Mrs. Malfoy began questioning her friend. Severus observed her quietly as she conversed with Ginny. Hermione Granger was _quite_ beautiful, now. He wondered if her personality had altered much in the years since he had last seen her, and wondered if it was very likely that she might kiss him again all in an effort to make him angry.

He would not lie to himself. He would probably greatly enjoy if she did kiss him. He would enjoy it more, even, if she decided she might be up for a bit more than kissing. She was quite lovely…

Severus shook his head and turned his attention to his soup. As interested as he may be in Miss Hermione Granger, it was highly unlikely that she was interested in him at all. What did a middle aged wizard like himself have to offer a lovely girl like her? He was, of course, over fifty two years old, now and was certainly not improving at all with age. His appearance, however, hardly showed his advancement in years, save that light dusting of gray at his temples that was only visible when he tied his hair back, and for this he was grateful. Grateful that there might be a remote possibility that Miss Granger might not remember exactly how old he was and might kiss him. Or touch him, maybe. Or lick him. Yes, he wouldn't mind having her lick him. Not one…

"Uncle Severus!" the squeaky voice of one, Arthur Malfoy, interrupted his thoughts as he cried out. Severus felt Arthur's two wet hands settle on his right thigh and watched as Arthur's tiny body squeezed itself into the small space between his and Hermione's seats.

"Yes, Arthur?" Severus asked as he watched the boy try to climb into his lap.

"Hi, Uncle Severus," he said as he gripped Severus's thigh tighter and attempted to pull himself up.

"Hello, Arthur," Severus replied and watched the boy make every effort to arrive at his desired destination. Severus watched as Hermione turned from her soup, grasped Arthur Malfoy, and placed him onto Severus's lap.

He turned his head slightly to glare at Hermione as Arthur arranged himself in Severus's lap so that he sat facing his cousin. Severus was slightly displeased to only see Hermione smiling at him in response.

"Hi, Uncle Severus," the boy said, grinning at him. Severus noted one of his teeth was missing.

"Yes, hello, Arthur," he replied. "I believe we've already greeted each other."

"Hey, Uncle Severus," Arthur whispered dangerously as he leaned closer to his cousin.

Severus rolled his eyes and sighed. He knew what was coming next. "Yes, Arthur?"

Severus felt the small, wet hand (which smelled quite a bit like the soup they were eating) wrap around his nose as the young boy squealed as loudly and shrilly as was humanly possible, "Got your conk!"

The Potter-Weasleys erupted into laughter at this. Ginny, Severus was displeased to see, laughed a bit as did Draco. Lucius looked bored and Draco jr. was too busy playing with his animal crackers to notice much of what was happening. Severus was glad to see Hermione did not laugh outright at him; she, instead, bit down on her bottom lip, as if she were attempting to hide her smile.

Severus sighed, knowing exactly what was expected of him in this situation. Reaching up and using his thumb and forefinger, Severus caught the boy's button nose and replied, "Got yours too."

Arthur giggled in reply, and moved his hand away from Severus's nose. Severus watched as the boy leaned over to kiss his nose before hopping off his lap and running over to his mother.

"Well," said Draco, "I suppose it's time that Ginny and I made our announcement."

"Oh yes," said Ron, "do. Harry and I have a bet on the sex of the baby, and I am dying to know which of us is right."

Draco sneered at Ron, and Severus knew it was as close to a smile as Potter-Weasley would ever get from his brother-in-law. "Yes, well," he began as he took Ginny's hand in his own, "I am happy to announce that Ginny and I will be having another son, and that we have decided upon a name for him."

"Oh?" said Harry. "What are you going to name him? You've run out of grandfathers and fathers."

"Yes," said Ginny as she looked at Severus, "and now we're moving onto uncles."

Severus felt his eyes widen. She couldn't possibly mean what he thought she did? "You're going to name your child after me!?"

Draco grinned widely at his cousin. "Indeed we are, Uncle Severus. This child will be named Severus James Malfoy."

"James?" said Harry, raising an eyebrow. "After my dad?"

"No," said Ginny, shaking her head. "After you, actually. Just didn't like the sound of Severus Harry Malfoy."

Severus could not help his jaw from dropping in horror. The child was being named after him and, in essence, his arch rival. This was ridiculous. This was awful.

The gods were laughing at him. And so, he noticed, was Hermione Granger.

"Something amuses you, Miss Granger?" Severus asked in his softest, deadliest tone.

"Oh no, Professor," she said between giggles. "Not at all. I was just thinking how thrilled you must be that your newest cousin will be named after you and your greatest enemy."

Severus felt his jaw clench. "Yes, Miss Granger, I am quite ecstatic."

Hermione burst into laughter at this. After a few moments, her giggles subsided and she was able to speak again. "I am sure you are, Severus," she said softly, and Severus felt himself freeze.

When exactly had she taken to calling him by his given name?

"Severus," she began again a second later, "may I ask you a personal question?"

Severus felt his eyes widen. What matter could Hermione ask about that could be deemed 'personal?' "Erm, certainly, Miss Granger."

"Are you…" she began, and he noticed a blush arise on her cheeks. "Do you remember Ginny and Draco's wedding?"

Severus frowned. "Yes, Miss Granger. Though I may be getting older, I am hardly senile yet."

"When we danced," she said, ignoring him and continuing to blush, "I greatly enjoyed it, Severus. Dancing with you. And spending the evening in your company. It was very pleasant, to say the least."

He felt his eyebrows rise. Perhaps his interest in Hermione Granger was not completely one sided, then. "Yes, I enjoyed myself very much," he paused, and decided to try something new, "Hermione."

She smiled. "Then perhaps we might go out one evening together for dinner and dancing? I think it might be very enjoyable."

Severus wondered if that evening might possibly end with kissing or something more, even. Maybe it would end with something even better. Like licking. "Yes, Hermione," he replied, "I think that would be quite agreeable."

Hermione continued to grin at him as she placed her hand over his where it rested on the table and squeezed it gently. "I look forward to arranging a date then, Severus."

He was surprised when he felt his facial muscles moving so that he could smile back. "I do too, Hermione," and was suddenly quite thankful to Draco for inviting him to the Manor for dinner this evening.

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_Author's Note: Yes, it's entirely possible that there will be another one. Thanks for reading!_


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